Me. :)

I've been thinking. I wished I was different. Didn't write poems or songs, no matter how bad I am at it. That way I wouldn't talk in riddles so much, wouldn't over think every situation and wouldn't be abnormal. I wished I were simpler. Isn't that what they like?

Did I really ask myself that question? I know I don't really care about that, right?

But I couldn't change. Even if I wanted to. This is who I am. I download an Eric Clapton song just because I see it on Nana and want to hear what it would sound like. I find simple joy in reading manga in front of the computer for straight long hours. I play the guitar til my wrist sores and don't feel it until I stop. I believe that God is the only one who will complete me yet I screw up time after time. I write songs but after a while I forget the tune to my own compositions. I enjoy scribbling cadaver eventhough I know those drawings suck. I write an essay all the way to the middle and start hating what I've written from the beginning and rush the ending. I want so badly to leave the country eventhough I know it will be tough as hell there. I no longer have crushes and I love being single but I can't stand being alone. And I no longer cry for anything because I believe I've grown out of it.

I was thinking. In any case, even if I wanted to be what they like, I've got to like me first. Don't you think? ;)


My big computer armchair isn't all bendy anymore. Hmph. :(