Love, ME.

If you were to ask me how I was doing, I wouldn't know how to answer you. When you're in too deep, all you want to do is get out. But when you're not in at all, you just don't know where you are.

I am tired. I am angry. I am lost. I am confused. I am neutral. I am sober. I am irritated. I am unhappy. I am content. I am insecure. I am lost.

I don't know where I am. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know if it was better to have known you or not to have known you at all. If I find out, I'll tell you. But I don't know what I'm looking for, what it is I want to hear, or don't want to hear. What do I want? Who am I waiting for?


I miss you. That's okay, right? You're so far away.

I'm worried about you. Is that okay too? Come look for me when you're ready, okay? Because I'm waiting to lend myself to you.


My Father is my refuge, always has been. He is my direction and my purpose. He's what keeps me going. Life is meaningless, if no one defines it. He defines my life. The only one I can trust with my whole self, and still cry on His shoulders. I don't deserve You. But You stay anyway. Help me to remember. Amen.